THE BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE

Need something to feel thankful for? How about the benefits of being thankful?

The benefits of practicing gratitude are plentiful.  Dr. Robert Emmons, a psychologist from University of California Davis, discovered through his research that people who regularly practice gratitude by noticing and reflecting upon the things they are thankful for:

•                Feel more joyful emotions

•                Are less anxious and depressed

•                Are more engaged in their lives

•                Sleep better

•                Are able to express more compassion and kindness

•                Have more fulfilling relationships

•                Have stronger immune systems

•                 

Along with being grateful for the big things that happen in our lives, experiencing the same level of gratitude for the simple and smaller things that happen to us is just as important and can significantly increase our well-being and life satisfaction. Simply put, gratitude reminds us of the simple joy in just being alive.

As with making any change, having the motivation and stick-to-itiveness to sustain it can be challenging. Below are a few strategies to help with starting a daily gratitude practice and with being able to maintain it:

Strengthen your reflection skills

One of the cornerstones of the practice of gratitude is being able to recognize the things we are grateful for. You can strengthen your reflection skills by noticing all the new things you’re grateful for everyday and then writing them down in a gratitude journal or by putting them in a special gratitude jar or box if journaling isn’t your thing. It’s also important to periodically read what you’ve written to remind yourself of the all things you’re grateful for.

Be specific about what you’re grateful for

Sharpening our gratitude skills also helps with changing the way we perceive situations. Shifting our attention the to positives in our lives–especially when we’re struggling with life’s challenges–opens up our thinking and helps with finding solutions. Gratitude also naturally bolsters feelings of hopefulness and resiliency.

Share your feelings of gratitude

Include the important people in your life in your gratitude practice. You can do this by writing letters to the people in your life who you’re grateful for or by making a point to directly express your feelings of gratitude in person. However you choose to express your gratitude to the people you love, focusing on our relationships enhances feelings of connection and intimacy. And, time after time, studies have shown that our relationships are strong determinants of our happiness.

Feeling Stuck? How to Help Yourself

• By Main Line Health
• April 18, 2016
• No Comments

By: Paula Durlofsky, PhD

We all have had moments when we felt “stuck” or like we’ve hit a wall. Being stuck is an inner feeling of stagnation and paralysis and feels beyond our control.

When we feel stuck, we question our core purpose, our life’s path, and even our past and future decisions. It makes our lives seem confusing, hopeless and uninspired, and it’s not a surprise to learn that feeling stuck often leads to sadness and depression.

So what causes us to feel stuck? Some of the most common causes include:

• Self-doubt
• Fear of making mistakes
• Feeling powerless and hopeless
• Ambivalence
• Discomfort with trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone
• No longer feeling curious to try new things

Although these are common feelings that everyone can experience, it’s important to remind ourselves that all change begins within us and that we are our own agents of change.

Below are five things you can do now to help you get moving and feel “un-stuck:”

1. Curb self-talk that begins with “I have to…” and “I should…”. This kind of self-talk makes us feel automatic, oppressed and stagnate.

2. Every day, do at least one thing you enjoy. Whatever that is–whether it is reading, working out, or just sitting and relaxing–make it a priority as much as your other responsibilities, like working, paying the bills, and taking care of family. Doing the things we love brings new and positive energy into our lives.

3. Take a break from social media. Several studies indicate that social media can make it hard for us to let go of our past, has a negative impact on our self-esteem, induces envy, and inhibits us from having substantial relationships. All of the above can contribute to feeling stuck. Limiting or taking a complete break from social media gives us time back to focus on pursuing personal goals and helps us to live in the moment.

4. Be OK with feeling stuck. This may sound counter intuitive, but it’s not. Sometimes the more we resist an emotion or thought, the stronger it becomes. Feeling stuck from time to time is normal. Instead of thinking it is wrong or bad to feel stuck, allow yourself to be present in this emotion so your mental energy can go towards figuring out what changes need to be made to move forward, rather than focusing your energy on self-criticism about feeling stuck in the first place.

5. Do something outside of your comfort zone. Living life only within our comfort zone inhibits us from growing in countless ways. Figure out what you’d like to try but have been hesitant to act on because of fear or self-doubt. Make a conscious effort to become aware of what gives you a deep sense of joy and excitement.

Dr. Paula Durlofsky is a psychologist in private practice in Bryn Mawr, whose practice focuses on psychological issues affecting individuals, couples, and families. She is affiliated with Bryn Mawr Hospital and Lankenau Medical Center.

6 Essential Self-Care Tips for 2016

• By Main Line Health
• January 9, 2016
• No Comments

By: Paula Durlofsky, PhD

We all know the importance of taking care of our physical health. But what about the importance of taking care of our emotional health? When our emotional needs are neglected, our physical health suffers along with our well-being and happiness.

All too often, our emotional needs get put on the back burner or simply lost amid the whirlwind life that involves work responsibilities, taking care of children, partners, aging parents and friends.  Although overcoming barriers to self-care can be difficult, creating the time and space for it is important and necessary for our emotional well-being and overall happiness. Simply stated, implementing daily self-care habits sets the foundation for our emotional health. Self-care habits that lead to joy and rest anchor us, increase our self-esteem, sense of efficacy, help regulate our moods, and aid in our ability to problem solve. Plus, in the long run, it’s better for those around us.

And, it’s no surprise that when we neglect our self-care we are more vulnerable to conditions such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders and low self-esteem. Many studies also suggest self-care can also lessen stress, which increases a person’s risk of cardiovascular disease, immune illnesses and some cancers.

Below are 6 essential self-care tips to get you on your way for a happier and healthier the new year:

1. Take care of your physical needs by getting plenty of sleep, regular exercise and eating a balanced diet. Research has consistently shown that getting seven to eight hours of sleep per night, exercising, and eating a healthy diet significantly improves our concentration, cognition, and helps to lessen depression and anxiety.
2. Tune into your emotions. Developing the ability to recognize and label our emotions is a necessary skill for cultivating our well-being. All too often, we are distracted by our busy lives and rarely have an opportunity to take a moment for self-reflection. Self-awareness is key for making effective changes because from self awareness we have a true understanding of the problem.  Schedule regular times for self-reflection by writing in a journal, meditating, and setting aside moments during the day for self-reflection.
3. Give yourself permission to say no.  You’re not alone if the word ‘no’ is not in your vocabulary.  Too many times we find ourselves jumping right in and saying yes to a request without fully thinking it through. Give yourself permission to take the time to think about your decision before you say yes. Responding with phrases such as “I need to look at my schedule and get back to you,” gives you room for reflection before acting.
4. Make your self-care a priority. Honoring the commitments we make to ourselves reinforces the notion that we matter.
5. Create your own self-care rituals. Take time to define what self-care rituals are important to you and how to implement them into your day.  For example, for some people, making time for silence and solitude may be at the top of their self-care list while, for others, socializing with friends is most important.
6. Be mindful of how you spend your time and with whom you spend your time.  The activities we choose to do and the people we choose to share our lives with is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. As often as you can, schedule time spent doing the things you enjoy and around the people you enjoy being with.